Deceit can be funny, but it pisses me off.

Okay, so one time I got this juicer.  I thought it was going to be great.  I would have all-natural juice all the time.  I bought like five apples to make a pitcher of juice.  I figured it would be enough.  I ended up getting about a shot glass of juice out of it.  Sure, I was frustrated as hell, but I thought to myself, this is funny shit.  Thinking how things are going to turn out and then them not turning out the way we planned is a funny bit.  So I go on about how I had to bother the neighbor to borrow some of their fruit.  Which is funny because I don’t think they’d expect it back.  It reminds me how people will do anything to get you to buy stuff.  I remember seeing the Ginsu knife on television.  They’re showing how it can cut through shoes and stone, but who the hell is ever going to use it to do that shit?  Who wants a cement sandwich?  Who the hell wants to cut their shoes up?  But yet, the Ginsu knife corporation sells its share of knives.  You know why?  Because they have the commercial on late at night, when people lose all capablity for rational thought.  At five in the afternoon, buying a knife that cuts through leather is stupid, but at 1 AM, it’s amazing!  So you call the little hotline and they send you this box and when you get it, you’re like, “Why the hell did I buy this?”  But it’s too late.  It’s a pain in the ass to return it.  You gotta mail it back.  It’s not worth it.  And the people on those informercials really convince you that the product works to perfection, when the truth is anything but.  You ever see that guy on there, that’s always like, “Wow!  You mean I can use the blender to blend things?”  What an idiot!  But people buy that shit late at night.  I’ll tell you the truth, though, I do own the Ginsu knife set and the Jack LaLame Juicer.  However, I do use the knives, but the juicer is tucked away where it will never be used again.  And I’m tired of the home based buisiness infomercials, because they never really tell you what you have to do to make money, unless you buy it.  So you don’t know what you’re getting until you waste three easy payments of you got screwed.  They always have testimonials, with some fake idiot saying, “I never got a high school diploma, but I make $200,000 a year only working one hour a week.”  And I’m thinking, “My ass, you make that much.”  They fucking bullshit you into buying shit and then they give you garbage that you end up feeding to your dog.  Why is it always about deceit and not truthfullness? 

And the same thing goes for colleges.  Why can’t they just tell the truth.  I don’t need to hear the bullshit phrases, “We’re academically diverse with a learning culture that exceeds everyone else.”  Why don’t you just tell the truth.  Why don’t you say something like, “We’re not that great.  We just really want your money.  We’ll definitely make you pay us back for twenty years after you graduate while we watch your credit score suffer immensely.”  Why can’t they just say that?  Because that won’t attract any prospective students.  Well, I’ll tell you right now, I’d rather go to a college like that than waste my time at an Ivy League school, where the main concept is, “How much money can we squeeze out of these rich people for a piece of paper.”  That’s all you get.  Four years or more, thousands and thousands of dollars, and you get a piece of paper with your name on it. I could make one of those.  Why waste thousands when I can waste about three dollars in art supplies and a piece of paper?  I’m just glad I caught on before I got screwed again.  And then they force you to take classes that have no merit towards your major, yet another desperate attempt to drain you of every dime you’ve worked so hard to make. 

And people fall for it because they actually believe the shit they’ve been spoonfed their whole life that a person who doesn’t go to college is a loser and will never amount to anything.  Forget that.  Just because you don’t have a degree doesn’t mean you’ll never be something.  And who the hell cares about being “something” anyway.  Don’t you want to be someone and not something?  My parents and relatives, when I was younger would always ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”  Until recently, I never really considered the flaw in that question.  That question is asking us to define ourselves by our career, not by who we are.  The question should be reworded as, “Who do you want to be when you grow up?”  That’s a question that’s more sensible.  That way, you can look at a list of your values and decide what kind of life you would like to lead.  Sure, you can have a career, but don’t let your career define who you are, unless it’s all you ever do.  You don’t want to end up with a name like Groundskeeper Willie or Tony in Accounting.  Why don’t you aim for becoming an entity in yourself?  Be someone first and something second. 

And I’m tired of the news trying to scare people into watching.  Every day, there’s something to be scared of.  Is there something in our drinking water?  Is there a bird flu coming our way?  Will killer bees attack all of us?  I mean, come on.  But it works.  At least for most people.  People sit down and watch the evening news, like a ritual, because they feel if they don’t, they’ll miss the next Koala attack alerts and be mauled to death by two strung out Koalas looking for a bamboo fix.  I mean, what the hell?  Every fucking story on the news is negative.  All of them.  It’s always, “six dead in plane crash.”  It’s never, “the world is a better place.”  Is Saddaam going to get the death penalty?  What idiotic thing does Bush have to say?  Who cares?  It’s not relevant in my life.  Sure, if I want to inflate my ego and seem like I’m smart, I could make references to the news, but what purpose would that accomplish?  Who cares if I know what Hezbollah is?  I really don’t want to know about that.  Sure, it’s probably terrible, but why dwell on the shit that makes us feel depressed and scared when there’s so much good in the world and laughter is much more powerful than depression.  But people can’t see that because they’re so used to being messed with in the mass media.  It’s commonplace, really.

So I got some of my frustrations out and I really think this is a pathway to some great material.  I have some very solid premises here and I usually write for about twenty minutes to an hour when trying to get new premises.  I just let off some steam and this is what becomes of it.  This is a very powerful tool for getting material that’s true to you.  God, I love WordPress.  It kicks the shit out of  I don’t know what it is, but it’s just fucking amazing.  I have categories, archives, and other features I haven’t tried yet.  I’m just glad that building my actual website is getting underway.  This blog will eventually be transferred to that site because it’s a great way to market my site.  I’m really enjoying writing.  I may come out with a book that’s all my thoughts just in a row.  No format, no nothing.  It will be an interesting concept that I may work with, but it’s all up in my head right now, but we’ll see.  I’ve got some Seinfeld to watch and then it’s time for bed so I can wake up at eight or nine tomorrow and type another blog entry.  I’m hoping to accumulate over 100 articles/blog entries by December.  Wish me luck and Godspeed.


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