Sometimes I Don’t

You ever not and say you did?  Isn’t that just an amazing feeling.  For some reason, laziness isn’t looked upon in a favorable fashion today.  People don’t give credit where credit is due.  A man who spends a year sitting on his ass, pondering the inner workings of reality is a bum, but the guy who works 60-hour weeks at the toy factory is some sort of contributor.  Sure, you could argue that sitting around on your ass doesn’t bring you any money, but making toys surely doesn’t get you any closer to understanding yourself.  Some people work hard for their money and others don’t.  Sometimes I do.  Sometimes I don’t.  It all depends what I feel like doing.  And that’s the way it should be.  I’m tired of quotes like, “He’s a real go-getter,” or “He works harder than everyone else combined.”  So what?  All that says is that person will put up with more crap than the rest of us will withstand.  Should someone really be praised for working overtime or pulled aside, talked to, and told that the way to live your life isn’t working all the time. 

It’s not easy to understand the facets at work here.  Some people do have a family that they have to support, so therefore they have to put up with the shit every day that they go into work.  Because if they don’t, their family will go hungry and broke to the point that they have to go on welfare, and no one wants to see their family on welfare because the husband wouldn’t put up with shit.  Life is full of bullshit.  It’s immersed in bullshit.  Everywhere you look, there’s bullshit.  And you have to deal with it.  But you shouldn’t have to put up with it.

I’m trying to eloquently describe the way some people see the world.  Some people say, “I have a bad job, but that’s life.”  Other people say, “I have a bad job.  Fuck that,” and they get a new one.  And then there’s the select few that say, “I don’t have a job, so there’s no possibility that I have a bad job.”  And they wander the streets, from soup kitchen to soup kitchen, looking for their next meal. 

What some people don’t understand is that laziness is not a choice.  it’s a way of life.  Some people praise it, while others loathe it.  But we all have to admit, it’s there.  Everyone is lazy at some point in their lives.  That time you slept in an extra hour?  When you tried to shoot paper into the trashcan?  The time you spent six hours looking for the remote when you could have just turned the damn TV on manually?  These are the days of our lives.  What about when butter went out on the market?  No more butter churns.  People got lazy.  They didn’t want to churn butter anymore.  They said, “It’s too hard.  Have someone or something else do it.”  And now butter is churned by a machine, I think. 

Laziness knows no race, no color, and no creed.  It befalls every human being at some point, and yet, most people shy away from it.  Why?  Because laziness has such negative connotations.  Phrases like, “you lazy bastard” and “sloth-ass mother fucker” are peppered throughout the history books when describing the less motivated.  But did any of that change those people’s ways?  Most likely, the person being insulted was too lazy to listen.  So those negative connotations really did nothing except fuel the fire.  Now people who hear about the benefits of being lazy are joining the masses for an apathetic strike.  One that can be done from everyone’s living room while watching their favorite episode of Sanford and Son. 

Sometimes I think, “Wow, there’s so much to do out in that world that I can’t possibly justify just sitting here.”  Sometimes I don’t.  That’s why I love America.  It’s my life choice to be lazy.  Call it an alternative lifestyle if you will, but don’t you dare try and censor me.  I will do everything I can to get this word out.  And all of you will read this, because I know no one can be so lazy they can’t read 1000 words.  In other words, I’ll have the Cliff Notes version of this post in on Friday.  Peace.

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