Goals, Intentions, and Synergizing

Working is taking a toll on me.  Working at my job that is.  Every day it’s the same damn thing and it never changes.  It’s so damn boring sometimes.  There’s nothing interesting happening there.  It’s like the theme for the store is monotony.  So I have some options I can consider, but I’m not sure which will allow for the best experience:

  1. Going back to college:  This is a definite option that I am considering very heavily and will most likely do to further enhance my capabilities.  But it’s such a stretch financially, but a degree is so important in today’s world.  The pro’s are that I’ll be able to get a good job and be able to make a good living doing something.  The con’s are that I’ll be in heavy debt, more than 15,000 dollars by the time I get out, and I’ll most likely make less working because I’ll have to be in school.  But in five to ten years, my potential will increase substantially to the point of being able to have enough money to support myself independently.  That’s not a bad thing.  But it has to be doing something I like to do.
  2. I could also become a freelance writer/comedian and go all over the country and travel.  This will take a toll on me in many ways, but it will be an interesting journey, I’m sure.  It would be nice to do that, and once I’m able to in the near future, I intend to go around the country and see what there is to see.  I want to experience the world eventually as well.  It will be a lot of fun, but I don’t have the financial means to do so right now.
  3. Become a full-time comedian.  I don’t know if this is completely what I want to do all the time, but it would be very fun, I’m sure.  I feel like if I pursue this goal whole-heartedly, I’ll be limiting my capabilities to only one facet of my talents.  So if I go to do this, I will be only doing one thing I’m good at.  And that might lead to an eventual imbalance in my life.  And I know that people say it’s hard work, but it’s not work if you love to do it.  So it’s something I could definitely do, but it’s something that may be too narrowly focused.
  4. Become a comedy writer.  This is probably the most attractive of all the goals here, mostly because I can definitely write well and I also have the capabilities of creating characters and using my creativity to develop a plot and storyline.  I enjoy freewriting and I love to expand thinking and awareness through journaling.  So, it’s a question of how often I want to do this that will determine whether or not I choose this.

It’s just a multitude of possibilities.  I’m looking for some sort of clarity of where my life should go.  I’m almost 21 years old and I know I shouldn’t rush myself, but I still want to get things moving.  Revitalizing myself and rejuvenation are key points for me to get on the right track.  I need to rediscover my passion for laughter and comedy, as well as writing creatively.  Those are the things I need to work on.  That and developing unique experiences in my life to perfectly put myself in places I want to be.  These are my intentions for the next few years.

I want to understand what the point of everything is as well.  It’s almost as we all just run around on this planet with our heads in the ground (it’s possible, believe me).  And most people don’t ever make a real choice of what to do with their lives.  They let someone else do it for them.  Or they’re stuck with other people’s leftover choices.  An example of this is a child whose mother pushes her to become a child actress.  The child does so only because he/she is being pushed to do so.  But I don’t want to spend my whole life wondering what I should do.  I have to take action soon and when the time is right, I will.  There’s something holding me back, probably the thought of not having enough money to get by if I go out on my own, or maybe I’m doubting myself too much.  I don’t know.  I have trouble sticking to things sometimes.  I get distracted.  But it’s temporary.  I have to rerout my thinking so that I’m full of focus, but at the same time being relaxed.  It’s a hard balance to follow, but I’m working on it.

I’m coming closer and closer to fully understanding myself, so that’s good.  I know what I am capable of and I know what I want to do, but the main problem is to incorporate all the things I want to do into one way of life.  It shouldn’t be that if I pursue one thing, I have to put all the others on hold.  It should be all simultaneous.  it should be coexisting.  And that’s my main goal.  Make everything synergistic.  Allow everything to come together, along with making a decent income at this.  I’ll post an update soon.  Wish me luck.

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