Intuition is a tool everyone possesses but not everyone really uses it to it’s fullest extent. I believe it is something most people don’t usually trust very much, but it is something that can be very useful. It’s about trusting your intuition that is the key. Without trust, it will not work properly, just as a friend who you do not trust will not help you as much as someone who does trust you. Intuition is a guiding force, something that will get you on your life’s path. Something that will allow you to be at peace while passionately pursuing your purpose, whether or not you succeed by the “external world’s” standards.
Sure, you may think you know what you want in life. A house, a car, a jacuzzi, maybe a two-car garage, a wife/husband, a secure job that pays well, among other things, but it’s what inspires the being inside of you that should really be what you want in life. I am so tired of talking to people who are doing well financially, but absolutely hate their job, their living situation, and many other aspects of their life, but they remain silenced because they are making big money, but at what risk? Burnout, irritablility, exhaustion, hate for authority (I’m guilty of this one), and lack of motivation. Their only real motivation is not geting fired, and that will only make them work hard enough so they don’t get canned. But most people never question how they got to that state in the first place and almost verify that they cannot change this situation, either because of fear or lack of understanding of their true passion.
When I was in college, I had thought I wanted to be a Math teacher. I really did. I had no real experience to back me up, but I did enjoy math. So I go to college and I absolutely loathe the education courses deeply. They have no real staying power in my brain. I often zone out in these classes, imagining I’m on the beach, with a glass of water in a lounge chair, just relaxing to the point of sleepiness. Then, when the class was over, I would zone back in, sometimes a little late, to the point where I’d be the only person left sitting in the classroom, completely unaware of the lesson that took place. But I did not want to change my major or minor then and there because I don’t think I wanted to lose all the money and credits I had gotten, not to mention the loss of job security as a teacher has one of the better job retentions as the career is in high demand. To make a long story short, I ended up leaving that university because I could no longer take all of the pressures of such a limiting place.
The problems I had with this particular university was it did not allow me to figure out what I wanted to do, it simply made you choose something. And if that decision was wrong, you would have to change, but also spend the money on the time you wasted studying the subject(s) you did not find interesting, which I did not find to be fair. Not only was I wasting a good deal of my time, now I also wasted a great deal of money. But then I realized that it is definitely in the university’s best interest for you to stay there as long as possible because they will make more money that way. And I’m not saying that this is a bad thing for the university, but it is for the individual student. So I left and decided to take some time off to “find myself.” I realize that most of the world is high-stress and high-pressure, but I am not someone who works well under pressure, but rather someone who works well in deep relaxation, so I decided to take a couple of semesters off to really delve at what it is I should do for a living.
I started reading all this information about personal development, health, fitness, different philosophies, Zen in particular stood out, the state of the planet, cosmic intelligence, and so forth. My real passion at that time was to be a stand-up comedian. I had written many, many jokes and even performed maybe ten or fifteen times total to a pretty good reception. I enjoyed it very much, but after reading all of these different texts, I realized that being a stand-up comedian was really limiting. I was much smarter than that. I have a much more intelligent part of my brain, so I had to realize that stand-up comedy would be a part of my life, but not as big a part as I had previously thought. I came to accept this, grudgingly, but it has now become existent.
So, how did I realize what my passion was? Well, I started journaling, blogging, soul searching, deep thinking, for days at a time, understanding, questioning, revamping, and I eventually came to an overall philosophy for myself and became very passionate about developing new ideas for this passion and philosophy, although I could not see how this really measured up to some sort of career title, except freelance philosopher, which I thought was pretty hip. But it doesn’t pay the bills, at least I don’t believe it can, just thinking. So I needed to develop a medium through which I could help other people along this path, as well as allow myself to earn a decent income from it. When I say decent, I mean enough to pay my bills and maybe a little bit extra. So I thought….
I’m not really the most vocal person. I’ve been working on improving my vocal skills immensely, but they are still a work in progress, but my writing skills are pretty honed as I’ve done a bit of reading and a bunch of writing in the past year and a half or so. My intuition was letting me know, through this introspection and journaling that I really did enjoy the process of writing. I loved to write down ideas and potentially share them with others, regardless of the monetary value I could extract from it. Even though I am still a fan of stand-up comedy and I enjoy listening to it, and will also perform it numerous times in my future, I realize that it is not a final destination, and it will not fulfill me the way writing does. But I had thought of how I could perform standup comedy, not in the way I was doing it then, but in a completely different way, a philosophical kind of way, most likely for a smarter audience, not that I’m excluding people here, but it would be a very slow-paced methodical, Zen-like performance and it would be the only way I could thoroughly enjoy myself. It would probably start something like this. “I like to think outside the box. It wasn’t my idea, the box was getting too crowded.”
The next obvious progressional step away from stand-up comedy is public speaking, motivational speaking, and the like. I believe, once I hone my verbal skills and body language to the point where I can triage ruthlessly onstage without skipping a beat, I will most likely have to put this on hold, although my speaking has improved significantly in the past three months, where I am enunciating much more and also speaking clearly and slowly, as if I am slowing down significantly. And I like it. I used to mumble quite a bit and now it’s becoming less like this. But I feel in the very core of me, the very foundation from which I come, this is what I need to do. I need to get these ideas out there, as they will most likely influence lives. It is no longer a question of “want to,” but a statement of “need to.” I believe this is the difference between want and need. If I don’t do these things, these writing and speaking, I feel as if I will not have a reason to live. I feel that, in helping people come to terms with some of the realizations I have come to, that I am making the world a better place. At least that’s my intention.
And you don’t have to agree with me. Feel free to comment if you don’t like my line of thinking. It will give me a chance to evaluate my thinking and possibly grow from the experience. I welcome all feedback and I wish that you question everything, even my own writing. I am here to help you think, not to have you follow what I write blindly because that’s no better than following Christianity just because you were brought up with it. I’m not saying all people like that follow their faith blindly, but there are some who do, not really believing it, but just doing it because it’s easy to do so, rather than figure out their own belief system. So I ask you to read, think, interperet, and follow you core feeling, what it is you really believe, really want to do with your life. And maybe you don’t know. Maybe it will take time. Just write about it. Try and figure it out.
And it’s not a life-long goal, either. Maybe your passion will fade after a few years or decades. Then you’re free to move to something else. You’re in control. There is no one stopping you except yourself. So if you want to pursue one thing for ten years, and another for the net ten years, do so. Life is about experiences and the value we bring to them. Don’t become the guy who works at a job he hates just for the employee benefits and job security. Please, you at least owe it to yourself to do what you love. Peace, love, and happiness to all.