Time goes way too fast. I feel like I should still be younger. People say that youth is so quick and the rest of your life is spent being “grown up,” where you pretty much lose all your creativity and free will and conform to a culture that’s speeding up in such extravagent ways that it numbs my mind to think about it. We devolving as a species in some respects, as things have taken a turn for the worst as we are no longer patient, attentive, original humans.
I just totally think it’s hilarious how we think certain events are important, that we rush to do, and it ends up being trivial. Things like writing this blog entry. Things like how baseball teams change teammates every year and you struggle to keep up. It’s just a waste of time to rush, in my opinion. You miss so much, and you’re not really accomplishing anything significant. I just like to allow myself to experience life in its own perfect time, without having to complete some menial, arduous task that I don’t even find pleasing at all.
Popular culture has to die out sometime. I’m really looking forward to the downfall of clothes with holes in them, lilac sweaters, and hair gel that’s NOT tested on animals. I don’t need the reality shows and the Paris Hilton updates. I couldn’t care less about who’s marrying who in Hollywood. They’re just people, like you and me. If I were to tell you Bob and Linda Jameson were getting married, you wouldn’t care, because you don’t know them. Just like I don’t care when Tom Cruise marries some woman I’ve never heard of. I’m the kind of guy who will buy a National Enquirer to use as firewood.
A revolving door of quick fixes, miracle drugs, washed up actors and actresses, boring sitcoms, ridiculous rules and regulations, I’ve had it. No, I don’t care if some famous person had their baby unless I actually know them. I don’t feel like keeping up with their fast-pased, overindulgent, ego-stroking lives. The self-fulfilling prophecies of yesteryear. Is learning about this sort of lifestyle going to make my life any better?
Whatever. I’ve become bored with the world as it presents itself to me. The only way I will get restimulated is to create a better world for myself and others. I just don’t know what’s stopping me from doing it. A fear of leaving my comfort zone maybe? What it is isn’t what it feels like. I just have to let myself slow down, breathe, and relax into total oblivion, letting myself go into unchartered waters, allowing myself to be me.
I was looking at who I am today when I was at work. Who am I? What the fuck do I represent? What does anyone represent? Why do I care that I represent something and that people judge me based on what they presume I represent? I believe that there is something against representation without documentation. There should also be no taxation. What goes on inside my head is beyond my own belief. This is where I live, where I grow. It’s really late now, just after 1 A.M. and I’m starting to ramble off into the night, but even though this post is completely off the wall, I have comfort that people will still read it and think that it means something to them.
Completely stonewalled from my own sense of self at times, I often take vacations from myself into a vast wilderness of idiosyncratic overtones that would throw Albert Einstein for a loop. I speak eloquently to try and upgrade my self-worth and reputation, but what I’m really doing is just being me. It is January 1, 2007 and I feel that today is the day for something magical to happen. Today I go out and watch the butterflies get pollen or whatever they do when they fly from flower to flower. My backyard is full of them. At least they don’t have to deal with popular culture.
P.S. I just wanted to let everyone know that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed writing to an unabridged audience and hope they’ve gained some sort of benefit from reading these long-winded and philisophical posts. It’s been real, so real that I feel like I’ve bared my soul into this blog. I just hope we all can accomplish this sort of peace in the future.