Becoming a Millionaire

January 8, 2007

Steve Pavlina’s new podcast, entitled Faster Goal Achievement, was something I really needed to hear, as it was reinforcing the way I was thinking with respect to goal achievement.  I was thinking that if you want something to happen, like a goal of some sort, the only way it will ever manifest is if you make some part of it true right now.  Making your goal in the present will allow the result to come to you much faster.

Steve Pavlina gives a concrete example about how some people he knew that were rich used to carry what he thought was a large sum of money in their wallets, when they thought it was nothing because they had so much money.  So the first thing Steve did was go to the ATM machine and make it so he had $200 dollars in his wallet.  Eventually, he upped the amount of money, and got to the point where when he had $200 in his wallet, he needed a “refill.”  He was thinking the same way about his bank account, where if he has $10,000 in there now, he would think that was a lot, but as a millionaire, it’s a tragedy.  So, if you think the way the millionaires do, you’ll be opening yourself up for opportunities to become one.

I used a similar approach in steps to gain some sort of inner peace.  Sometimes I would be jarred by external events, possibly at my work or otherwise, and I would get stressed out.  I would visualize a time and place where I would always maintain that inner peace, but it always seemed so far off in the distance.  So I decided to make inner peace part of my life–now.  Whenever I felt stressed or angry, I would immediately take a couple of deep breaths and then usually burst out laughing at how trivial the situation was that was making me stressed.  I found the deep breathing extremely rewarding as well.  It was almost if I was high on oxygen.

Supposedly, for your intentions to manifest, you have to become a vibrational match for your intention, meaning you have to align yourself with the mindset and take the actions that will allow you to achieve whatever goal you have.  Becoming a millionaire is a solid goal for me, and even though I sometimes have negative thoughts towards money, I realize that it’s not the money that’s evil, but the purpose behind making the money, or the people who control the money, who are evil.  So, if you are going to use your money for good causes, for the highest good of all, being a millionaire is a wonderful thing.

So it’s not like I really have any excuse to not make this amount of money.  With this sum of money, I could help the world become a better place.  I would be able to devote all my time to my mission of opening people’s eyes and also making them laugh in the process.  I have to set my mind up for millions and they will come to me.  I am going to possibly build a website, an entire website, with all the different categories and whatnot, but I just need to build my technical skills to figure out how to do such a thing.  I’ve registered a domain name, and it has been dormant for four months now, mostly because I got intensely frustrated when I couldn’t upload the blogging software on there while following the instructions. 

I will figure out what is going on, though.  I just have to work on a common theme for my website.  I have to have original ideas that change the way people think.  I need to inspire.  I have stories to tell.  I have beaten brain cancer.  If I can do that, making millions of dollars should be a piece of cake.

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Beating Cancer

January 5, 2007

Here’s an issue I’m going through right now in my life.  Around three and a half years ago, I was found completely cured of a cancerous brain tumor through two brain surgeries and thirty days of radiation.  It will be four years in April.  It was the biggest challenge of my life and the most unexpected one.  I learned quite a bit in the year I was sidelined due to massive headaches and double vision.  Everything else was thrown to the side.  The most important thing was staying alive.

I don’t believe I have yet gotten out of this mindset.  I still feel the same way.  As long as I’m alive, I’m happy.  I don’t really need anything else to give me happiness.  I don’t need money, a good job, a healthy relationship, none of that matters so much.  Beating cancer has made me extremely grateful for life itself.

And yet this feeling of intense gratitude stifles me at times.  I don’t feel I have to prove anything to anyone.  I don’t really care about the things other people do.  I don’t care how much money I pull in or how many friends are on my Myspace page.  All I care about is living.  Living, breathing, ascending to a higher state of consciousness.  Allowing myself to see what is going on behind the scenes.  Being alive has become what I live for.

This is only a dilemma in the eyes of other people.  I see no problem with this way of life.  But society tends to push you into things, things you’re not sure are right for you, things that will supposedly give you a better life, when you aren’t concerned with a better life in the sense of material possessions, but a life well lived in principles.  I’m not looking for external success because that is utterly meaningless to me.  What I look for is a sort of internal success, a feeling of peace and love radiating from me.  That is what I am striving towards. 

It is more challenging than many external goals, as it can be taxing emotionally and mentally.  But through doing this, I gain a new perspective on myself, on the world, on nature, and start to become closer to enlightenment.  I’m not doing this for bragging rights or social status, but to help myself become a better person.  Isn’t that the meaning of life?  To do to others as you would want them to do to you.  The golden Rule.

But society complicates things, puts all these other activates, other bombardments that fill you with negative influences and take you away from your true mission.  All of the things we believe we’re supposed to do, when most of those things are entirely optional. 

for example, television and tabloid magazines are a perfect example.  First of all, they encourage you to live a materialistic lifestyle and secondly, they show you a barrage of negative gossip and ideas that you pick up on and it distracts you from being the best person you can be.  I feel like I’ve become less needy for approval and recognition.  I no longer need approval for my way of life.  I know it is the right thing to do.

Another aspect of beating the cancer was I now no longer have any fear of death.  If I am to die, so be it.  I know there is something there for me on the other side.  I know I have a spirit inside of me, and when my physical body runs out of fuel, I will be able to exist in some spiritual form, for all eternity. 

But what to do with the remainder of my existence?  I’m thinking about organizing some sort of collaborative enterprise or possibly a think tank.  Something of the sort.  Where we sit around and share high-level ideas in a non-judgmental session.  We try and get to the core of reality and how it works.  We live in harmony with nature and allow for us all to share our stories.  We work towards a feeling of peace and love.  We do everything we feel we need to and nothing more.  We live.

I hope this post was of some help, as it helped me get through a tough patch of negative thoughts.  Getting people together to share ideas is a great idea.  I sure hope it allows me to get new perspecitves on life and even catch holes in my thinking.


Happy Birthday to Me

December 29, 2006

December 28 was my birthday. I’m 21. Wow. 21. So what? Big deal. So I can drink and gamble now. Like I’m supposed to just go crazy, drinking strawberry daiquiris and putting my life savings on number 22 at the roulette table. Give me a break. Just because I can do something doesn’t mean I should. I have the right to do so, but I’m not planning on pursuing those branches of life, at least not at this time.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately and it’s been a rewarding experience. Thinking in terms of the future. Wondering what I’m going to do with my life. Trying to understand how I fit into this puzzle called the real world. Finding my niche. Understanding why I’m here. Believing that I know deep down what the purpose of my existence is.

I know writing will be a big part of my life, as I’ve shown immensely over the past six months or so. I realize that humor is another key component in my life. Love is strong in my life as well, an unconditional love of everything around me. Understanding, stillness, relaxation, all other qualities of myself. Listening. Being there. Knowing. All things I know I possess. All qualities I am working steadfastly to improve on a daily basis. Being myself is quite a challenge.

You know how sometimes you get sucked into popular culture. You buy all the fad clothes, all the stupid toys or whatever that other people are raving about. You don’t do it because you like those things, but do it to “fit in.” Fitting in can be crucial in such a conformist society. Sometimes I get taken in by these cultural values. Materials over peace, agreement over honesty, bullshit over feelings. When you’re thrown into a world that thinks this way every day, you start to pick up some things that are not desirable except out in that world.

If you are being constantly exposed to these things, it can be hard to break the habits associated with them. I work hard to destroy everything I do that goes against my personal values, my philosophy of life. I may be Zen, but why go out and buy a Zen garden? Isn’t that anti-Zen anyway? I’m not in it for the money, I’m in it for the experiences. I’m in it for living in peace. I’m in it for forming a better world. I’m in it for enlightenment. There is no object that will give me enlightenment outside of myself.

So I try to understand that less is more, less is less distractions, less clutter, less problems, less allocation. Less allows for you to think more, to consume less, to live better. When we strip ourselves from everything we own, what is left? Ourselves. Some people mask themselves with the things they own. I mask the things I own with myself. I am no longer concerned with other people’s opinion of me. That holds no stock in my book. If you disagree, you disagree. Let me live my life, make my own “mistakes,” have my own experiences, allow me to just be, and I shall do the same for you. Help me better the world and you will be rewarded handsomely with a deep feeling of fulfillment.

So looking back on the last 21 years of my life, this past one has been the culmination of success for me. I have never had a more productive year spiritually, mentally, and socially. I understand much more than I did for the previous 20 years of my life. I have lost many fears I used to have. Death is no longer a problem. I’ve accepted the fact that death will come when it needs to. There’s no reason to fear it, as it is one truth you cannot escape. So why fear the inevitable? I know I’ll move on to something else afterward anyway. I’m just not entirely sure what it’s nature will be. I’ll just have to wait and find out.


Christmas Again?

December 26, 2006

I know yesterday was Christmas and everyone is probably writing about it in their blogs, but maybe I’m not that kind of guy.  Chirstmas was good, and I’ll leave it at that.  I got some things I wanted.  That is all.

One activity I’m going to invite more of into my life is reading, as if I don’t already do enough.  I believe reading will help my writing, which will help people who read this blog.  Writing is something to do to pass the time.  My novel is coming along well, eighty pages single-spaced on Microsoft Works.  I’d say that’s not a bad accomplishment.  I just have a feeling it’s going to be a novel that never ends because it didn’t really begin in the first place.  It could go on for the next twenty years.  We shall see.  I’d like to get it published by the end of 2007.  That’s a lofty goal I can set my sights on. 

Looking back on this year, I’ve been through a lot.  The fact that I am still here amazes me and I continue to grow spiritually and mentally.  My physical body is getting in better shape and is feeling decent.  I’ve made a 180 from where I was at the beginning of the year, although I still feel the same way about some things.  This blog has really helped me get myself “out there” in terms of expressing myself.  No, I don’t use fancy layouts or pictures in most of my blogs because these posts come from deep inside me.  I don’t need photos to prove my point.

This blog is as much for me as it is for everyone reading.  I hope you’ve extracted a bit of information from this blog and continue to visit, as I am going to keep writing, along with writing my novel, so if you want to read, keep reading.  The holidays are nothing more than days that we put extra significance on.  I just think it’s funny that I get paid for not working on Christmas as opposed to any other holiday.  When I call off for Strap Day, I sure hope I get holiday pay and three days off or else there will be a problem.  I need money to fund this eccentric holiday.  You can read about Strap Day in the Archives for December.  I’m just too lazy to put up links today, and I have to go back to work anyway at 2 PM.  If I didn’t have that hanging over me all the time, I’d be able to deck out all of these posts.  Time will tell.  When I finish my novel and get it published and it makes me a substantial amount of money, maybe I’ll take some time off and relax a bit and focus on this blog and possibly another novel.  I’m thinking of writing a novel about working in a grocery store.  It will be a first-person narrative, a subjective story if you would.  I just have to think of a good title for it.  It will be a story about what I’ve experienced as well as some other things I want to throw in.  I’m looking forward to writing it.

Whether or not I ever understand why I’m here, I know I can enjoy my writing and enjoy my reading.  I don’t need to justify any of it.  It’s me.  It’s the whole, “Do you think Mozart’s music was his work?  No, the work was Mozart himself, and he brought it into the world.”  I’m not saying I’m the best writer in the world, not even close.  But I enjoy it.  I’m getting better.  It will only be a matter of time before I no longer have to go to work.  Work will become joy.  Joy will become my state of mind.  I’m already in a lot of peace, but joy and peace wouldn’t be a bad combo. 


Intuitive Existential Revelations

December 23, 2006

We’re just here, wandering around aimlessly, not really making any sort of meaning, looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I don’t know how I got to this point, but this is how I felt back almost a year ago. I didn’t understand anything to the extent I understood myself. I was suffering immensely psychologically and mentally, as well as physically, as I could not find a way to intelligently deal with the residual effects of my brain surgeries and progressive radiation therapy that happened two years prior. Something just didn’t make sense, something felt different. I was no longer who I once was. I was someone else, someone new, almost as if this brain cancer had changed me forever to someone who hardly resembled myself at all.

Everything felt different. Reality was a whole new ballgame. It’s hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it, but you almost felt like you weren’t really you, but an observer of yourself and everything else that still had control over your body, but it was in a more vague way than a concrete one. It was almost as if my spirit was halfway out of my body and above me. I still feel that way today, but I’ve made peace with it. I realize that feeling this way has its ups and downs, but it is something I have come to accept. I no longer hate the fact I had to go through such turmoil in that year of my life, 65 stitches in the back of my head and two pea-sized cancerous legions in my brain. I know it happened for a reason, a reason that brings me joy each and every day. Transcendence of fear, appreciation for life, the simple things, the minute details that people just brush over without paying much attention to, these are the things I can truly enjoy.

I’m no longer caught up in the rat race of society and its constant superficiality and demands that are so irrational, it makes me want to leave entirely. I just allow myself to live in peace and harmony with the whole, beautiful world. And it saddens me that we are collectively destroying much of it, but I can still appreciate the parts that are still intact, the natural parts of our great planet. I feel a sort of oneness with the world, a collective consciousness, if you would, something that takes me away from being centered in my physical body and allows me to get everything I experience, like a culmination of the world. This sort of revelation was triggered by my brain cancer and its subsequent removal. I was given the option to live on and I’m striving to enjoy every second of the rest of my life, or all of life on Earth.

I know my physical body is not me. I’ve known that for a long time. It is simply a part of me, like the trees are a part of me, and my spirit is a part of me. There is no distinction of more important parts, they are all equal. This computer is me. Every word I type here is a part of me. Put them all together and you get thought. Every time I allow myself to think this way, I get this amazing surge of energy, like I’m connecting to some power source unknown to me previously. The key is keeping it in mind all the time. It’s the most joyous feeling you’ll ever experience, as I’m experiencing it right now. Wow. That was amazing.

Jesus, wasn’t that something? If you’ve never experienced that feeling, just allow yourself to do so. It has to be the best feeling in the world.

But then there are times when I seep into deep depression, where I can’t even fathom a reason to get out of bed. I think to myself, why bother? Who cares if I get up and do this or that, or get that thing I’ve wanted? I mean, I get headaches sometimes that are pretty bad, but I get through them. As long as I don’t push myself too hard, I’ll be okay. I have this happy medium where I don’t overwork myself or I’ll start to get headaches again. It’s not easy to figure out where this medium is, but I’ve been getting closer to it every day. But I know I can experience joy whenever I need to, as I have access to my joy button.

Whether or not I want to be in a perpetual state of joy is something I’m not completely sure of. Would everything become boring and meaningless if joy is my natural state? Being full of joy all the time would be good, to some extent, but the lack of variability in my emotions could possibly make my life boring. I believe peace is the answer. Life in a state of peace. You accept everything as it is. You just allow things to be. If you feel mad, you feel mad, but you’re at peace with the fact you’re feeling mad. You know it will pass and that you’ll enter a state of happiness later, maybe even joy.

I’ve been on this planet almost 21 years and I feel that in the last year, things have finally come full circle for me. Everything is starting to make sense. The world is my oyster. I am aware of the power I possess and the amazing talents I hone at every corner. I know I have the power to be peaceful no matter what happens. I don’t place my faith in the external world because it’s inconsistent. The only thing I can rely on to be completely consistent is myself. In accepting myself for who I am, not hating any part of me, loving everything, I’ve gotten past bitterness. I understand the way the world works, but I still don’t know why completely. I can’t fathom why things are the way they are. Why we’re these animals on a planet living to perpetuate our existence, to some cherished ideal that we seem to be straying further and further away from. Asking the question, “Why are we here?” only renders one response: To make the world a better place.

To go about doing this, making the world a better place, we need to destroy many things we cling to tightly to in today’s society. I’m willing to dump the automobile, the depletion of our natural resources, the destruction of nature, and the hierarchical way the world is run. I’m ready to get rid of all of it. I’ve transcended all of it, knowing on the other side there is more for us, a feeling of amazing peace. We just need to get there, all together. We need to stop placing our emphasis out there and start focusing introspectively. Looking inward for guidance. Our instinct and intuition know what we are supposed to be doing, but we silence that voice in the back of our minds, passing it off as crazy talk, acting like it’s improbable. But we all know it’s possible, even probable. It’s all about committing to it.

This is about people giving to others, helping one another, treating everyone as equals, no matter their economic status or color of skin. There should be no class system, no overseers who control every move we make. We should be able to live a life of peace freely, absent of bureaucratic nonsense that drives you insane if you even begin to think about it. Whenever I imagine a world where I am one with nature and nature is one with me, I become peaceful. I know that peace is only a step away, and joy is about three steps further. Thank you for reading. I appreciate it.

 P.S.  Anyone else feel this way somewhat?  I mean, we need to all live to make the world better.  Otherwise, what’s the purpose of living besides selling dangerous products to an unsuspecting public for years before you retire and play canasta and golf while you wait for the Grim Reaper to come get you.  Let’s do this.


Maybe I’m Not Supposed To

December 17, 2006

Maybe I’m not supposed to.  That’s how I feel when my alarm clock goes off and I am supposed to get ready for work.  Maybe this sin’t how we should be living.  WHen my alarm goes off, I just lay there, trying to fathom a good reason to get out of bed and start getting ready for work, something that is increasingly giving me more resistance every day.  I have a distinct feeling that working in a supermarket is not my calling.  As a matter of fact, I know this.  I am going back to college, but I’ll be studying Mathematics and possibly writing, although I don’t really feel the way I write needs to be called into question.  I don’t need some external source telling me whether or not my writing is good.  I feel that my writing is what it is and to judge it would be to be judging my thoughts.  You see, I am a thinker, not a worker.  I would rather write than go out into an insane society that doesn’t really make any sense to me.  I feel like somebody really messed up our life patterns with an attempt to control us through a variety of media.  I think it’s about time I’ve cancelled my subscription to society.

Work is just another way to be controlled.  You have to give your time away.  I went to work today, my boss says to another worker, who was having a conversation with another coworker, “Are you talking on my time?”  His time?  His time?  Who is he to gain ownership for our time?  He is just some distant authority figure, some ego-driven derrogatory component of this world who has a great interest keeping us rooted in fear.  Fear of losing your job, any little mistake, no matter how insignificant, can get you fired.  Just because the big boss man says so.  We are at his mercy.  It does not make any fucking sense whatsoever.  Why do I have to listen to this asshole just to make a living?  The answer is I don’t.  I don’t and I won’t for much longer.

It is MY time.  Not yours.  It’s MY life, not yours, so stop imposing ownership of MY time into your pocket.  Seven dollars an hour is not enough to keep me going in this complete and utter waste of human life, where the popular phrase, “If you’re leaning, you should be cleaning,” as well as, the ever-popular “Smile-Greet-Thank” sticker on every cash register.  I get yelled at occasionally for not having my shirt tucked in to the boss’s satisfaction.  Is that really the root of all the problems at this company?  People don’t tuck their shirts in far enough?  Come on, grow up and start looking at the person inside.  I remember one time I wore a polo shirt that was slightly off color and has “Sports Illustrated” listed on one of the sleeves.  I got a whole fucking lecture on how our store does not advertise Sports Illustrated.

Why are there all these rules that make no sense whatsoever?  I’m tired of dealing with pointless beaurocracy and guidlines, standards, and everything else of the sort.  Government regulations, tax exampt status, etc., etc., etc.  Why do we live this way? How in the hell does this make any sense?  And they wonder why over half the nation is overweight, paranoid, mentally ill, and full of fear.  Look how we’re constantly controlled, through the media and through everyday living.  Other animals don’t live like this.  They just live.  We have to worry about making enough money to survive, enough green pieces of paper to perpetuate our existance when it is moderately futile to do so.  We’re so transfixed on materialism that it sickens me.  Do other animals (and believe me, we are animals) worry about the next video game system or the next president of the United States?  No.  Do they bicker over trivialitieslike whether or not you’ve filed for your taxes yet?  Absolutely not. 

Something is obviously wrong with society and we all know it, but no one takes the steps to correct it.  We just accept the fact that we destroy the naturalistic world and take animals we use for food in Holocaust-like conditions, torturing them before eventually killing them.  What kind of sick bastards are we?  If we did these things to dogs or cats, we’d be in jail, but because the animals we do this to are “delicious,” we look the other way, pretend it isn’t happening, because life is easier that way.  No confronting the truth.  Just eat that damn burger and shut up.  That’s how we think.

And we’re just told to accept the world the way it is when it could be so much better.  WE are born into such a mess, a total disjunction of how we are meant to live, overcrowding causing stress, which causes mental problems as well as physical ones. Since we keep people who are sick and dying alive, we contribute to overpopulation of species, which will be around 14 billion in about another hundred years.  Imagine how terrible it will be to live in a world like that.  Something’s got to give.

Humans killing humans and being proud in doing so (think wars).  Destroying the lives of people who don’t have the same religious and philosophical beliefs as us in a futile attempt to “restore the peace.”  If restoring the peace involves going to war, what is the logic behind that?  Let’s not forget the American government’s attempt to control most of the world’s resources, as they well know that money will very soon become completely obsolete.  With the Federal Reserve in charge of money, and their repeated printing of money, over the next two to three decades, will make the American dollar worth so little, it will be outrageous.  There is no longer any gold backing up our money, which makes me wonder if it’s worth anything at all.  Just the fact that we think our money is worth something doesn’t make it so.

But I hate the fact that we’re all expected to go out and get a job, making “money” to live on, when our ancestors did nothing of the sorts and would probably laugh at such an incredulous idea.  Using this monetary system, which is not very forgiving in itself, class systems are formed, distinguishing one human being as “better” than another, their opinions worth more, with more opportunities open to them.  Just because they seem to have collected more pieces of paper and plastic (credit cards) than the other person.  Instead of living in harmony, we live in fear of one another.  Fear that all our possessions could be stolen, our assets taken away by an unconcerned government or the evil IRS.  Why? 

Is it the innate thirst for power or is it the abominable way of human nature?  I don’t know, but I for one do not feel compelled to keep living like this.  It’s not remotely human.  We should not be at the mercy of other people, simply because they have more money or more power.  Who are they to tell us what to do?  They’re not us and therefore should not be enforcing rules and laws that may make sense to them, but not to me.  I want freedom, not the purposed illusion of freedom.  This is a free country, my ass.  Moving to the Canadian wilderness may not be a bad idea.  At least then I won’t have to deal with Uncle Sam and the possibility of getting drafted into the military where I will be forced to kill innocent people from a country whose name I can’t even pronounce.  What a wonderful country we’ve become.


Why Get a Job?

December 15, 2006

I remember watching an episode of the popular animated sitcom, Family Guy, where Peter is looking at his family history and finds out one of his ancestors was a philosopher.  They go to a cut scene of his ancestor, showing him sitting in a chair and his wife says to him, “Why don’t you go out and get a job?   All you ever do is sit here.”  And the philosopher responds, “Why?”

Getting a job is not something most people like to do.  It’s more of a must do.  In order to survive, we need to get a job, supposedly.  A job, something that takes all of your free will away and robs you of any independent thought whatsoever and binds you to a path of indentured servitude.  Why do we feel we need to get one of these jobs to earn a living and why do most of them leave people feeling unfulfilled and apathetic?  Because this isn’t the way we’re supposed to be living.  I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t make sense.  Why should we slave away on someone else’s demands, for low wages, doing something we don’t even feel remotely attracted to doing?

It’s all about our beliefs about life.  If we believe we need to get a job, then we do.  But if we think outside the box, something that’s becoming increasingly familiar to me, then we’re able to possibly define other ways to gain income without being a slave to a domineering boss who can turn off your income in the blink of an eye.  One experiment I’m currently undergoing is to see how much additional money I can generate without any real work, just a collection of my thoughts and actions unrelated to my job.  This will only include doing activities I actually want to do, not the things I don’t want to do (i.e. helping someone move). 

In the last six months, I have made an additional $400 or so dollars, not bad, but I want to expand this to much, much more.  I want to get it to the point where I make $5000-$10000 a month without working at a job.  I need to start applying all of these ideas in my head, the ones that fester around late at night, waiting to come out and live in reality.  I just don’t know what’s stopping me from doing this.  Wait, I may have an idea…

Maybe my beliefs about money is what’s stopping me.  I’m not really sure how I feel about money right now because I know it is inherently worthless compared to other things, and yet we need it for survival, supposedly, although I’d question that.  To survive in society maybe, but not to survive in general.  But I do not think someone who has a lot of money is evil unless that person made the money in dishonest ways.  But I have this association of people in power with lots of money as someone who stepped over at least ten other deserving people to get where they are today.  It’s the win/lose psychology.  If someone is on top, there has to be someone who loses.  Maybe that’s the wrong way of going about this problem.

The biggest part of me not having a job is to allow myself to be true to who I am.  I don’t want to have to conform to boss’s commands, dress codes, and casual Fridays.  Every day should be casual and I should be able to live in a casual manner without having to go to some place where I sell a bit of my freedom for some cash.  I’d more likely wish to spend my time writing, philosophizing, and getting to the core of reality.  Isn’t that a much more worthwhile endeavor than writing a TPS report on bank software?  I’d certainly say so.

So to adopt a win/win way of thinking, where I do what I love and also generate income doing so is a valid goal for me to lean towards, but I would also like the people who buy my intellectual property to also benefit, so it would be more of a win/win/win situation.  If people paid for my product, they’d win by getting valuable information, and I’d win from making  a living doing what I love.  It wouldn’t be “work,” but fun.  Who wouldn’t love to make a decent income doing what they love, rather than going to “work?”  Work isn’t supposed to be fun.  If it was, they’d call it “happy fun time.” 

Working from my heart and soul has been the best thing I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t call it work.  In the past ten months or so, I’ve done extensive work on myself and questioned a lot of the fundamental beliefs I used to have about reality.  I’ve decided that if there is a purpose in life, an ideal way of living, then I am obligated to go out and find this for myself.  So far, this is what I have come up with:  Write about what you think about.  Try to understand this world around you.  I used to think I knew how the world works.  Now I know I really don’t know anything about the world, but am coming closer to understanding how I want to live, and becoming aware that the social paradigm today is completely broken.

I don’t know how some of these crazy ideas became socially acceptable in today’s world, but they are here today.  I may have to come to terms with some of them, but the whole idea of becoming a career employee with a good pension and all that added security and safety blankets doesn’t make it for me.  Working paycheck to paycheck in some hope of a dream life, just out of my reach, where I know I could be doing more to open the eyes of a dormant public, oblivious to how boring and monotonous their lives have become, how their free will and spirit is broken as soon as they are hired to a job where they surrender all control to some distant authority figure who never complements you, but is quick to criticize.  Is this what life is about?  Well, maybe your life, but I am striving to make this no longer a part of my life.

I long to share ideas with a wide audience, people who accept each other for who they are and are not judgmental.  I want to breathe passion for what I do and help others get to a point beyond the superficial way most of society views the world.  I want to delve deep into every soul and get these people to realize we are all connected and it’s in our best interest to help one another improve oneself to make the world a better place.  And I want people to practice what they preach, mean what they say and say what they mean.  I want there to be no secrets, no lies, and compassion all around.  Why can’t we all just get along?

I feel like the universe is posing a challenge to me.  Make the world a better place, help others do the same.  Show others how to enjoy life once again, as it can end at any moment.  Treat every second as precious gold and use it to work towards a state of pervasive inner peace and serenity.  Don’t let little things get in the way.  Allow them to pass, unnoticed, and grasp the big picture fully without any biases.  This is something I am working towards on a daily basis.  It’s challenging, but I love the journey.  I just hope the ideal world I’m looking for is realized in my lifetime.  I can see seeds of change, but there is still some deceit out there, and evil lurks around once in awhile.  If I can align myself with a higher cause, then I can also encourage other people to do the same, through example and through discussions.  Help me along this path because once you get on it, there will be no leaving.  It’s just too much fun.