Breaking Up Monotony

January 16, 2007

How about it?  I’m in the mood for some lack of structure, some lack of uncertainty, some complete and utter chaos.  Where you don’t know what will happen next.  Just a complete upheaval where anything is possible.  Take everything you know today and throw it away, start anew.  Just become complete with yourself.  Forget what you have learned and embrace your inner chaos.  Spread it outward, taking it to the streets, doing unorthodox things, donning clown makeup, cross-dressing, I don’t care.  Do something unorthodox just to shove it in everyone’s petrified faces.  Show them you’re not afraid to go against normality, show them all how mundane their little lives are.  I take great joy in doing things like this.  Say things that will invoke a response, invoke some sort of questioning of their way of life.

For example, at my job, I work as a cashier/bagger in a supermarket.  It’s not much, but sometimes I’ll just start asking the customers things like, “What do you know about astral travel?” or, when they ask me how I’m doing, I say, “Just waiting for the pirate ships to take me away into the ocean.”  I do this to see the shattered look on their face.  “Have you had any lucid dreams recently you’d like to share with me?”  One time, a coworker said to me, “I didn’t know you were here today.”  And I responded, “I didn’t even know I was here yet.”  Just be erratic.  Pretend you don’t even exist in reality.  Pretend you’re just a tourist in this world, kind of like Kevin Spacey in K-Pax.  You could even eat a banana with the skin on like he did, oblivious to the fact you can peel it.  Do things that force people to react.  Don’t succumb to your weaknesses, allow your strengths to get out. 

Some days, when I’m at work, if a supervisor asks me to do something, I don’t even respond, I just go do it, or sometimes I even ponder saying, “I’m not here yet, mentally.  Give me a few hours,” but if I say this to the wrong person, the person who is in charge of my employment, it could cause some serious problems.  Not really, he’s a big joke anyway, and he’s going to start since more and more.  It’s only when you have lost everything that you are able to do anything.  Fight Club.  God, I loved that book.  Just mix it up a little.  It seems like repetition has been the spice of life for so long for so many people, and the monotony has become intolerable, I’m sure, so why don’t people do something to get the ball rolling towards a new paradigm?  I hate the fact that some people never do these things because they’re afraid.  The only thing I haven’t really done is told my boss what I think of him.  But if I were to go up to him and say, “I think you’re a fat slob with a false sense of entitlement and a massive ego that is only surpassed by the size of your ass,” he may get angry and fire me, as well as file a verbal assault charge.  But I’m sure he already knows all of the things I said.  He knows them down deep, but he’ll deny them until the day he dies, because facing the truth is scary.  Especially if you’re like the man I just described.

When you let it all hang out, are no longer afraid of what “other people” think of you, then you can begin to really let it rip.  After I quit that fucking job and become self-employed selling “hopes and dreams and used goals” on eBay, I’ll be able to go back into that store and tell him somewhat along those lines.  It’s not for him, it’s for me.  Why should I pretend I like him when inside, I want him to leave for good, and never come back?  I’m not saying I want him dead, just far away from me.  But I’ll continue to break the monotony at work, with tales of astral travel and lucid dreams, with philosophical conversations to customers I’ve never met.  The funny thing is that most of them are scared when I bring up the nature of reality or think of dreams as another plane of reality.  They almost try to get out  of there as quick as possible.  It’s like they’re being interrogated by the police and are hiding something.  When I tell them, “I’ll see you in the future,” I’m just further sending their collapsing feeling of security into oblivion.  And it’s so much fun.

I find of feel like Socrates, questioning people and questioning everything really.  I’ll never forget a conversation I had with this character who used to work with me.  He says, “I hate to shave, but I gotta do it.”  And I said, “Why do you feel you have to shave?  There’s no law.  You could not shave the rest of your life and no one would come in and get you.  Do you really have to do it, or are you just looking for an outlet to complain?”  But sometimes people get great comfort in complaining about things they get themselves into and they’re always looking for some sympathetic character to say, “Oh, I agree with you.”  If you’re having a hard time, you put yourself there, so if you’re going to talk about it, instead of complaining, look for a way out, don’t perpetuate the suffering.  But nobody wants to change.  It’s so hard.  If you don’t want to change, don’t come complaining to me.  Tell me your plan for trying to change and I’ll help you. 

I like to let people in on what they’re missing.  I tell people of an astral experience I had, in a land of curiosity and wonder, a new dimension, just to let them know they are capable of these experiences also, if they just open themselves up to it.  My last lucid dream was amazing, but I’m not an expert at it yet.  The further I delve into that realm, the more I’ll be inclined to get others to do the same.  Just to mix things up a bit.  And no, I don’t do drugs.  Never have.  But looking at me, and the conversations I have, you would think I’m high all the time.  I am.  High on life.  That cereal is amazing.

If my boss ever fired me, he’d probably be like, “If you’re going to act like this, I’m going to have to show you the door.”  And I’ll be like, “What door?  It’s probably pretty awesome, huh?”  And he’ll be like, “Get out.”  I’ll say, “Hold on, you still haven’t showed me that door.  I can’t leave until I see this thing.  I bet it’s revolving.”  There’s nothing more rewarding than bashing someone’s massive ego.  I’ve always said there are three things that never stop growing:  your ears, your nose, and your ego. And I’ll never stop t his way of thinking.  It’s not so much bringing people down as it is opening up people to new ways of thinking.  I’m even open to this if someone were to do the same thing to me.  Hell, leave me a comment about this, and I’ll respond willingly to your inquiries.  I’m going to post-schedule this post for later, if I can figure out how to, for tomorrow, as I’ve already posted today.  Again, defying conventional norms, look at me.

Repetition should not be the spice of life.  Get over that, and you’ll live a life of interest and curiosity.  I love it.  Maybe you will, too.


Happy Strap Day

December 18, 2006

This is a post in response to what I have been hearing all the time lately, everywhere I go, and it’s becoming sickening to say the least.  “Have a Merry Christmas.”  At my job, all they play is Christmas music all the time, every minute of every day.  If I was Jewish or Muslim or Zoroastrian, I would be ready to explode.  I am not a Christian, nor do I affiliate myself with their holidays, although my family still does, even though they’ve left Christianity behind as well.  I will make it a mission to tell everyone who wishes me a merry Christmas that I am not a Christian, and that I am insulted by your assumption that just because I am white, nice, and polite that I must be a Christian because that’s the only religion that breeds productive members of society.  These are their words not mine.

 Some people say Happy Holidays.  Happy holidays is fine, if your particular belief system celebrates a holiday at this time of year, but why do we have to wish these things on people who don’t necessarily follow these “holidays?”  We’re a country who is supposed to have separation of church and state, but every Christmas day, all the businesses are closed and there is no real tolerance for non-conformity.  It is a given that everyone celebrates Christmas and it is a day where nobody goes anywhere, except to maybe a family member’s house.  Even the schools have “Christmas vacation,” which is paradoxical in itself to the people who don’t celebrate it.  What about when their particular holiday comes around and they’re stuck going to work or school?  They don’t get a day off at all.  It’s not fair that we make special preferences for certain religions when it comes to holidays and vacations.

Here’s what I’m proposing.  I want to create my own holiday, one that occurs maybe sometime in January, a three-day event called Strap Day.  I’ll give you a history of Strap Day to further indulge your curiosity.  Strap Day started when I was in twelfth grade when my friend and I were doing a word jumble of the eleven-letter word “insatiable.”  For some reason, I must have copied it down wrong or something, and while attempting to unscramble the letters to form the word I was looking for, ended up coming up with “strap day.”  Strap Day has become one of my favorite personal holidays.  Here is how it basically works:

  1. Every year, in mid-January, we buy an onslaught of straps, which we worship in a non-religious way for six hours, while facing Woonsocket, RI, where Strap Day came into origination.
  2. We hang the straps on a collection of hooks and admire them while sharing stories of how Strap Day came into origination.  It is considered unethical to have the straps hung up before Strap day, but it is a priority to have them hung up the earliest possible time on the first day of Strap Day.
  3. It was originally thought that this would be followed by the death of the first-born son, but this is not an action that can be completed every year, so we dumped it completely.
  4. Each person grabs their respective strap and goes over to the person of their choice and starts beating that person with the strap lightly for no more than seven minutes.  This is done starting with the youngest of the family, progressing to the older family members.
  5. Now, Strap Day is not for the feint of heart.  We use the straps and then we burn them, so that the next year, in anticipation for strap day, we can design and decorate a new strap for each of us.  Sometimes we even exchange straps, in the bizarre hope that we do not get beaten with that particular strap.  It’s more of a peace offering, if you would.

So, that’s Strap Day in a nutshell.  I know it may sound bizarre, but to me, Christmas and Haunakah and Kwanzaa all sound weird.  So, when January 11-13 comes around, what will you be celebrating?  I am going to start wishing people a Happy Strap Day, complete strangers even, just to gauge their reaction and to explain to them the facets of Strap Day.

The rules of Strap Day are not written in stone.  I encourage every family to put their own spin on their Strap Day tradition.  You can add or subtract any components you do not agree with, as I am open to new ideas as well, so if you have any, be sure to respond.  Since it is only three years or so old, Strap day is something that is a work in progress.  I have not yet gotten it to perfection, but it doesn’t really matter.  I believe I should request those days off from work.  I just hope one of those days isn’t a real holiday, as it may offend people who celebrate MLK day or something, but I believe it’s on the 15th or something, right?  So it’s more of a precursor to the civil rights day, and I think that’s appropriate, as Dr. King preached acceptance of everyone, no matter their color or beliefs. 

So join with me in a celebration of freedom of holidays.  Don’t subscribe to Christmas and Haunakah, but come on over to the dark side, not dark because of evil, but because of lack of light, and enjoy the wonders that can be bestowed upon you and the pride you’ll have after you’ve completed your first strap, worshipped it, placed in on a hook, and then beaten a family member (lightly) with it.  And if you celebrate Christmas, you might as well use the same hooks or tacks you used to hang up the stockings to hang up the straps.  Time for me to start making my strap.  I believe this year, I’ll make it out of mock leather or possibly cow hide, although I do not feel an animal should have to die for me to make a valid strap.  I’ll update on this and I will give another post during Strap Day to give you a firsthand insight into the experience.  Last but not least I know I spelled Hanukah wrong or however it’s spelled, but don’t be offended.  It wasn’t my intention.

Fear Kills the Mind

November 17, 2006

Here’s something I’ve just come to realize. Human beings are the only species that kills their own species for no reason and rejoices in the fact that they killed them. It is almost like our whole society based on war and ownership of land has completely turned us into worse than all animals. Some animals kill other animals for food. And that’s part of nature, but we kill our own species for power, lust, greed, and a sense of security. We kill for no reason whatsoever. We have no intention of preserving life. The people in power are mentally ill, schizophrenic to an extent. They’ll find a way to get the nation in support of war, even if civilian casualties occur in the remote country we’re off to bomb mercilessly. It’s almost as if we don’t care anymore. We don’t care about anyone but ourselves. News from other countries pales in comparison to what the latest celebrity is wearing. They use all this media of celebrities and fear-based news to keep us complacent. Fear is the killer of the mind. And they all know that. If they keep us in fear, they know they can gain power over us. And if they increase this level of fear over time, they could have us all going to war to kill people who most likely are no threat to us. But the fact that they have us all rooted up in fear is what makes it possible for us to make this move. They fill our heads with propaganda and bad news about other countries to somehow justify their eventual warfare on that nation. And you never see the other side. It’s always about what they want you to see and hear.

People follow along with this, too. They believe everything they hear and they will do exactly what five or six people in power want them to do. All the negative things in the world are created through some sort of fabrication of paranoia, which leads to us feeling like we’re in danger, when realistically we are nowhere near being in danger. I just wish more people would come onto this way of thinking because it’s getting to be insane. I can even see our government fabricating terrorist attacks on our nation in the near future. I’m not sure if anything of the like has happened yet, but I’m sure it might have, and it is a definite tactic for the future, no matter what the cost. It’s not about the people. It’s about the retention of power. But these people will only remain in power as long as we eat the things we are fed. We’re not sold lies, we buy the lies they give to us. And we not only believe them, we act on them, not knowing that what we are acting on has no real value.

So I guess it’s pretty prevalent why I do not associate myself with the rules of society or the fear-based ways of thinking. I just can’t bring myself down to that level again after experiencing nothing with fear. If you can transcend fear, then you’ve really taken away their power. But people are creating new things to be afraid of every day. Why would a country create biological and chemical warfare? To keep other countries in fear. Why else? “Don’t mess with us because if you do, we’ll kill all of you.” That’s the mindset of these countries. I find it so excruciatingly painful that army soldiers and generals can go to war, kill five thousand people, and not stand trial for their murders. Yet, if someone accidentally kills someone in a car wreck or something, they could face up to twenty-five years in jail. It’s just not logical. A serial killer pales in comparison to someone who goes into a country with the sheer purpose of taking it over, by killing thousands of people and even displaying them up on a stage as they behead them. It’s all relative, really. We’re all going to die sooner or later, so I don’t know why we allow this fear-based thinking or non-thinking to rule our lives. If we accept the fact that the world is a dangerous and fearful place, then it will be one in our minds. And we will filter out all the good we see and concentrate solely on the bad, which will reinforce our feelings of a terrible world. And the cycle continues to grow stronger. The world makes sure only the people who are of this evil and dark intention will ever make it into power. And when someone who doesn’t follow this is put into power, like John F. Kennedy, we find a way to assassinate him. And you see how terrible the world seems, but in reality, the only way it seems that way is because we are all conditioned to think that way. So if we drop the propaganda this world has been feeding us, then maybe we’ll be able to overcome this security conundrum.

And the fear is toxic. Look at all the diseases there must be right now. All these people with anxiety and stress-related conditions that totally run their lives. It’s a great market for the drug industry, I’m sure. “Let’s see how much money we can make from all these new conditions we created.” It’s a damn shame, but it’s the truth. I’m sure it’s much worse now. Poverty-stricken people in the streets begging for change or food and there’s the fat cat aristocrat who won’t spare even a dollar to the hungry or the food retention challenged, or whatever bogus word the government will come up with to euphemize starving.

This are just some instantaneous thought I had after watching the 2012 thing, which was over 3 1/2 hours long.  I fell asleep 2:30 through it, so I missed the last hour, but it was pretty good.  Here’s the link:  Click here.  I just hope you have four hours to spare…intersting stuff, though.

Embracing Your Weirdness

November 3, 2006

This is a post about being yourself, no matter how weird you may be, as long as it doesn’t result in harm to others. Here’s the low down. We are all weird in some way. Some much more than others, but the fact remains that we all have these innate strange qualities that most people would find either weird or troubling. So if you like to dance naked while listening to Sounds of the Rainforest while asl wearing clown makeup, you shouldn’t be ostracized because of that, you should be embraced. One of the greatest examples of embracing weirdness is creative genius Andy Kauffman.

 Post edit: apparently I just lost the rest of this post when I sent it. I had some really bizarre questions I was going to ask customers at my work, but they’re all gone now. There was also some other things, but I really don’t feel like retyping it, so here are some weird questions and that’s it: “What do you think the world would be like if ants were our size?” “Have you ever done any astral travel?” “I’d like you to interperet a dream for me. Okay, so I’m on the top of Mount Rushmore and…” “Do you think in the future that there won’t be any need for shopping carts because we’ll have mastered gravity so well that our groceries will rotate around us at considerable speeds?” “What would happen if I just started taking all of these plastic bags and putting them all over the store, yelling, ‘I’m the one who’s in charge now.’?” “Do you know where I can purchase a neutron microscope that’s capable of seeing subatomic particles and will allow me to find the power to make a nuclear reactor capable of running my house at a much lower cost than conventional electricity?” “Do you dance naked listening to Sounds of the Rainforest while putting clown makeup on when no one else is in the house?” That’s all for me. Peace.

Chaos vs. Society

September 29, 2006

Which would you rather have?  A chaotic, dangerous world that had no rhyme or reason to it or a law enforcement-controlled, sticler society?  It’s a question I often wonder about.  What would it be like if there were no rules?  Well, to do that, I just look at all of the world leaders.  It seems no matter what they do, there are little consequences.  Certain leaders could gas half their country and they’ld be looked at as heroes, mostly because the other half does not want to be gased as well.  But look at our president.  If he wants to go to war, he goes to war.  It doesn’t matter what the reason is and as long as he gets approval from Congress, he can go ahead into war, even if it’s just to bully a smaller country into submission.  It’s like anything he wants to do, he does and gets away with it.

Let’s face it.  The only reason most people (not including myself) don’t do things that are considered wrong don’t because they fear of being punished for what they did.  Otherwise, there would be no reason not to, unless they have a conscience.  But if one day the law enforcement was abolished, there would be an insane amount of chaos and everything would go downhill.  Up would be down, black would be white.  We’d be so out of it, it would be like we’re no better than the rest of the animals, but they never kill one another.  But just imagine what would happen.  There would be terrible things going on, but I do retain my thoughts that some people wouldn’t change their behavior at all, except to ensure their survival in a much harsher world.  A world like this would have lower life expectency and all that stuff, so maybe it’s not the best thing to go about doing.

I’m kind of segueing this into censorship on television and radio.  What would an abolishment of censorship do to those media outlets?  Would every show all of the sudden swear three hundred times an episode or would they be exactly the same.  I know that some people value censorship because of their children.  They don’t want their children to be exposed to bad language on television, even thouggh they are exposed to it at school.  Eventually, they are going to be exposed, so why not just get it out of the way.  The same goes with nudity.  Did you know in other countries, it’s no big thing to see a naked human on TV?  It’s commonplace.  Because they make it seem so bad in America, one slip-up by Janet Jackson in the Super Bowl can totally throw a nation into preoccupation.

But we are starting to get away with more.  Cable channels and pay channels are allowing more foul language on TV, which isn’t necessarily a good thing all the time, but sometimes a script calls for something to really exentuate the mood.  And you can’t do that with TV-safe words all the time.  You have to go outside the structured box and understand that once in awhile there should be some flexibility in the FCC’s regulations.  I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the phrase, “Sticks and stones maybreak my bones, but words can never hurt me.”  If the people who said this really believe this, then there wouldn’t be so many complaints every time the word “shit” or “fuck” appears on netword TV. 

What I’m really defending here is the First Amendment.  I have a right to say what I want to say how I want to say it.  And there should be nothing you can do to stop me.  Sure, I may not even choose to swear at all if I get on TV, but I should at least have the possibility.  No, it won’t crate chaos.  It will just allow for people to express themselves in a manner that is true to them.  I’m tired of people judging someone every time they let out a profanity.

Just last night, I was at work and I was about to go home and a woman who works there was counting my register and another woman that works there was standing beside her and they were talking and one let out the word “fuck.”  The other woman said, “You’d better put a quarter in the swear jar.  We don’t tolerate profanity here.”  Now, I’m one who hardly ever swears at work unless it’s under my breath.  I’ve done my share of that.  I also swear sometimes to one person that works there to enahnce the conversation.  But I don’t do it that much the same way I don’t say “exentuate my bustline” that much.  They’re all just words.  I use different words in different frequencies.  Not because I was conditioned to do so, but because I have ways to express myself in a more poignant manner than the swear words.  And that’s fine for me.  But other people who can get their point across with a swear word have every right to do so without being judged. 

So just remember that all words should be created equal and that no matter how someone says something, they should be able to do it.  You know, I don’t think I swore in this whole post except for the examples of words I used.  That’s just great.  Peace.

Censorship is *Bleep*ing Bull*bleep*

September 18, 2006

I hate it all.  I hate bleeps, I hate those fake words they put in on a TV movie that used to be in theatre.  I *bleep*ing hate it all.  It’s just not natural.  It’s suppressing who we really are.  Forget using replacement words.  Say what you want to say and don’t back down.  Don’t let anyone get in your way.  It’s all about being yourself, whomever that might be.  In a previous post I wrote about comedians who sold out to do movies that were just awful.  It was because they valued money over their true self. Sure, they might have been a watered down version of who they are, but look at Bob Saget, for Christ’s sake.  That guy was a really funny comedian before America’s Funniest Home Videos came out.  He was very blue, but he was also very funny.  I know that foul language is not the choice of every comedian and the fact that they use clever things to disguise what they’re really talking about is nice and all, but the comedians that just say the *bleep* that you’re thinking and do the *bleep* you expect are the ones that deserve to be remembered, but all that is remembered about them is some corny movie they did about bull*bleep* that nobody remembers.  That’s all it is. 

I hate watching comedians on TV and hearing the bleep.  It’s just so frustrating, it makes me swear out loud at the television.  I’m paying for this thing called cable and I believe I deserve to hear everything those people are *bleep*ing saying, not some fake, edited version of their act.  It’s just not fair.  You’ve got to stand up for what you believe in.  I’m tired of hearing about how awful some things are on TV.  Don’t watch *bleep*ing them, then.  Jesus Christ.  Why should we all have to conform to some FCC standards?  Who the hell are they?  Notice I had to use hell instead of *bleep.*  It’s *bleep*ing bull*bleep.*  This post makes no *bleep*ing sense, but *bleep* it.  You know what I’m saying? 

People are always ready to get offended by anything.  Calm the *bleep* down.  It’s not really that bad.  So, some foul language got into the mainstream.  So what.  It’s not going to kill you, so lighten the *bleep* up.  It’s just stupid.  Moronic.  Idiotic.  Would movies like Office Space be as funny if it didn’t have the swear words that totally made the movie? No it wouldn’t.  Those words make a stand.  Because we’re so sheltered from them, every time we hear them, we instantly are attentive.  “Fuck” is the biggest attention-getting word in the world.  Anyone hears “fuck” and they instantly turn to where it’s coming from. It’s inevitable.  Maybe if we started using these words regularly, they would have less negative connotations and be just like the other words in the English language.  Then there would be no need for censorship.  All words created equal.  I mean, it is the tweny-first century, people, so get with the *bleep*ing program.

It’s all the Christian’s fault.  That’s whose fault it is.  I have to blame someone.  And I chose them.  Their whole motto of being afraid of doing things or else some guy who’s in charge of everything will punish you by sending you to some fiery temper is just insane.  What in the hell were they thinking when they wrote this?  Some guy with horns poking you with a pitchfork while you remain there for eternity?  Ha, and that’s what makes you afraid to use the word *bleep?*  Or *bleep*?  How about *bleep?*  Four-letter words that make everyone tick.  It’s just so *bleep*ing amazing.  Send me an email for the uncensored version of this post.  It’s dynomite.  Maybe I should censor the word *joke.*  Wouldn’t that just make everything confusing?  Or the word *punch?*  Take the sentence:  I punched my friend.  It becomes:  I *bleep*ed my friend.  I just don’t care anymore.  It’s all rooted in fear.  This whole censorship thing is all about how people are afraid to hear these words that supposedly can throw a whole country into disarray.  Controlling what we say in a country that values free speech so eloquently is such a hypocrisy that needs to be stopped.  I sure hope I struck a chord here because I’m just sick of it.  This is all I have to say about this topic.  *Bleep*ing enjoy this, mother *bleep*er.